My heart's fool.
Fool for a love that will never be;
Fool for fleeting feelings.
Fool with temptation;
Fool with true and deep understanding.
Aren't we all just
bright eyes, fool hearts.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Fourward
I had a very unexpected conversation at work today with someone about the weight of our words on people. We both ended up crying thinking about the words that have weighed on us or the feedback we have received about our heavy words.
It is both a beautiful and fragile thing that the words we share with people can have such a lasting impact. Of course in this sense I am speaking of words we say in moments of caring and sharing love and advice. In a vulnerable time, people are very likely to hold on to things that give them hope; things that reassure them; things that comfort them.
I had a family friend years ago that suffered a miscarriage. I found a card for her somewhere along the way that said ever so simply and beautifully, "'Hang in there,' a little birdie told me. 'Your rainbow is on the way.'" I have held on to that small but powerful statement for 15 years. It has resonated with me in trying times and it is often the best advice I feel I have to offer those around me who may be suffering.
I have truly never given it much thought and I find the sentiment to be pretty classic. The basic promise that soon the storm will let up and the sun will begin to peak out again, and that combination of water and light will provide them the rainbow they have long been awaiting. It is a tale as old as time... especially if you grew up in the bible belt.
I shared it about a year ago with a friend and months later when she was going through another tough time, she reminded me about what I had told her and said that she was still patiently waiting for her rainbow. And it dawned on me that my words have had a powerful impact. I don't know that I outright promised her that things would get better (not that it was in my power to do so in any case) but she believed the words I said and took them to heart.
How frightening it can be to know that your words have such a great impact on someone when spoken at the right time. So much responsibility lies in your words and your promises of brighter tomorrows.
It makes me think and makes me regret making promises to people for said brighter tomorrows and even endless love. Words are worth a lot; a powerful weapon in the wrong hands.
It is both a beautiful and fragile thing that the words we share with people can have such a lasting impact. Of course in this sense I am speaking of words we say in moments of caring and sharing love and advice. In a vulnerable time, people are very likely to hold on to things that give them hope; things that reassure them; things that comfort them.
I had a family friend years ago that suffered a miscarriage. I found a card for her somewhere along the way that said ever so simply and beautifully, "'Hang in there,' a little birdie told me. 'Your rainbow is on the way.'" I have held on to that small but powerful statement for 15 years. It has resonated with me in trying times and it is often the best advice I feel I have to offer those around me who may be suffering.
I have truly never given it much thought and I find the sentiment to be pretty classic. The basic promise that soon the storm will let up and the sun will begin to peak out again, and that combination of water and light will provide them the rainbow they have long been awaiting. It is a tale as old as time... especially if you grew up in the bible belt.
I shared it about a year ago with a friend and months later when she was going through another tough time, she reminded me about what I had told her and said that she was still patiently waiting for her rainbow. And it dawned on me that my words have had a powerful impact. I don't know that I outright promised her that things would get better (not that it was in my power to do so in any case) but she believed the words I said and took them to heart.
How frightening it can be to know that your words have such a great impact on someone when spoken at the right time. So much responsibility lies in your words and your promises of brighter tomorrows.
It makes me think and makes me regret making promises to people for said brighter tomorrows and even endless love. Words are worth a lot; a powerful weapon in the wrong hands.
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Third Time is the Charm
Good morning! ...yes, I am writing this in the morning. I woke up early this morning, did yoga, laundry and some other small things around the house before my doctor's appointment. I got to the doctor only to be turned around and told to come back in 2 hours. Lucky for me, that was just enough time to bottle my latest batch of Kombucha and post a short blurb.
Days like these make my tummy turn. I love to be productive. I mean, don't get me wrong, I also love to be lazy and slack off, but after a long slump, I am actually giddy to be taking care of things.
My outlook on the day is so different when I start it with yoga. My body is more open and receptive to my surroundings and my mind is more tuned in to what my body and soul need. It is so balancing and all-encompassing. I know that can sound like a load of shit to people. I too was like you once. I finally caved and really allowed myself to release and I am so happy with the results.
I turned to the mat at a time in my life where I had many questions for myself. It was the most self-reflective care I could have given myself and I think it really allowed me to dig deep and answer those hard questions of life. I find myself in a similar position now, after 4 years, and the first place I want to run is the mat. I have shed a good many tears on that mat... boy does it have stories to tell. But seriously, yoga provides an outlet for me to share whats weighing on me: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
What is so fitting is that this month a youtube yogi is hosting a 30-day challenge for creativity. I crave that. I look forward to the challenges I will be given. And this morning, I was stoked to hold crow pose for a substantial amount of time without wavering. I feel so powerful in those moments. My body deserves all the trust I can give it. It is strong and capable and she takes care of my soul.
This time last year, I was preparing to go on my first yoga retreat and I was really worried that the other participants would be so much more advanced than I was. What a stupid thing to worry about in hindsight. Every body is different and we cannot expect them all to move in the same ways. Yoga is about what is good for your body and that is so individualized and unique. All that aside, human thoughts still invade my psyche. It turned out, however, that I was the only one in the class that could hold crow pose. My instructor challenged me to start working on side crow and I really haven't believed that I could do that. I have let yoga fall by the wayside far too often this year. I have allowed my mind to convince my body that it was incapable, weak. But I was reminded this morning that that is a crock of shit. Even after some time off the mat and being out of practice, I could achieve something that requires so much strength and patience. I am inspired by myself (still humble) and know that side crow is something I should work towards. It will only be in my library of asanas if I put forth the effort. I am ready. I am empowered. I believe in my body.
Sorry for being so inspirational. But sometimes we just need a pep talk and who better to hear it from then our biggest enemy??
Days like these make my tummy turn. I love to be productive. I mean, don't get me wrong, I also love to be lazy and slack off, but after a long slump, I am actually giddy to be taking care of things.
My outlook on the day is so different when I start it with yoga. My body is more open and receptive to my surroundings and my mind is more tuned in to what my body and soul need. It is so balancing and all-encompassing. I know that can sound like a load of shit to people. I too was like you once. I finally caved and really allowed myself to release and I am so happy with the results.
I turned to the mat at a time in my life where I had many questions for myself. It was the most self-reflective care I could have given myself and I think it really allowed me to dig deep and answer those hard questions of life. I find myself in a similar position now, after 4 years, and the first place I want to run is the mat. I have shed a good many tears on that mat... boy does it have stories to tell. But seriously, yoga provides an outlet for me to share whats weighing on me: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
What is so fitting is that this month a youtube yogi is hosting a 30-day challenge for creativity. I crave that. I look forward to the challenges I will be given. And this morning, I was stoked to hold crow pose for a substantial amount of time without wavering. I feel so powerful in those moments. My body deserves all the trust I can give it. It is strong and capable and she takes care of my soul.
This time last year, I was preparing to go on my first yoga retreat and I was really worried that the other participants would be so much more advanced than I was. What a stupid thing to worry about in hindsight. Every body is different and we cannot expect them all to move in the same ways. Yoga is about what is good for your body and that is so individualized and unique. All that aside, human thoughts still invade my psyche. It turned out, however, that I was the only one in the class that could hold crow pose. My instructor challenged me to start working on side crow and I really haven't believed that I could do that. I have let yoga fall by the wayside far too often this year. I have allowed my mind to convince my body that it was incapable, weak. But I was reminded this morning that that is a crock of shit. Even after some time off the mat and being out of practice, I could achieve something that requires so much strength and patience. I am inspired by myself (still humble) and know that side crow is something I should work towards. It will only be in my library of asanas if I put forth the effort. I am ready. I am empowered. I believe in my body.
Sorry for being so inspirational. But sometimes we just need a pep talk and who better to hear it from then our biggest enemy??
Monday, August 13, 2018
Two's Company
Today someone approached me about seeing me on Tinder. They got a real kick out of the fact that we were both on there. The more I think about it, the more I don't find this to be strange or funny at all.
In a world where people rarely meet organically, hiding behind internet anonymity is commonplace. And unfortunately, the more we hide behind our phones, the more expected it will be that we meet our partners there. Downsides include the fact that you are mostly judging these people on internet interactions (which often do not portray reality) and superficial information. However, on the flip side, you have just widened your dating pool by infinity– potential partners are numerous when you can include the eligible population of the entire world.
Of course Tinder is not my preferred method of meeting people, but sometimes I am out of motivation to think of ways to organically meet people. Tinder is great because it is easy and convenient and, most of the time, you have people with a certain goal gathered together in one place. The age old question, "what are you looking for?" will of course haunt you throughout your endeavors, but once you come up with the most vague and generic response, you're golden.
The point that I am trying to make, though, comes down to this: if meeting a partner via Tinder or other internet sites is becoming the widely accepted way to date in the modern age, why should it be surprising that you see your colleagues, friends, or family there?
Other thoughts that I didn't have time to flesh out:
I actually had a conversation with someone just the other day about the horror that is the future of dating if it come down to Tinder. I got stood up for a date and the simple explanation was, "you cannot be surprised [...] when it was someone from Tinder." But what a tragedy that this is something I need to accept.
In a world where people rarely meet organically, hiding behind internet anonymity is commonplace. And unfortunately, the more we hide behind our phones, the more expected it will be that we meet our partners there. Downsides include the fact that you are mostly judging these people on internet interactions (which often do not portray reality) and superficial information. However, on the flip side, you have just widened your dating pool by infinity– potential partners are numerous when you can include the eligible population of the entire world.
Of course Tinder is not my preferred method of meeting people, but sometimes I am out of motivation to think of ways to organically meet people. Tinder is great because it is easy and convenient and, most of the time, you have people with a certain goal gathered together in one place. The age old question, "what are you looking for?" will of course haunt you throughout your endeavors, but once you come up with the most vague and generic response, you're golden.
The point that I am trying to make, though, comes down to this: if meeting a partner via Tinder or other internet sites is becoming the widely accepted way to date in the modern age, why should it be surprising that you see your colleagues, friends, or family there?
Other thoughts that I didn't have time to flesh out:
I actually had a conversation with someone just the other day about the horror that is the future of dating if it come down to Tinder. I got stood up for a date and the simple explanation was, "you cannot be surprised [...] when it was someone from Tinder." But what a tragedy that this is something I need to accept.
Off to play banjo and do yoga!
Sunday, August 12, 2018
3-a-days Challenge
To be honest, this year has been absolutely devastating for me. I have suffered the loss of a parents, health issues, and rejection from a path I desperately want to go down. At the culmination of all of these things, I am left questioning my direction and my motives.
A fault of mine is becoming very enthusiastic and motivated about changes. The downfall is that I attempt to make lasting changes in multiple capacities all at once and I quickly burn out. In an attempt to not do that this time, I am challenging myself to focus on three things each day. The same things, that is.
Each day, I feel I would benefit mentally, physically and creatively from the practice of yoga, writing, and playing the banjo (I have been teaching myself for the last 6 months). It would be easy to say that I will devot 20 minutes per day to each activity, but I know that it would quickly fall by the wayside.
So, per the advice of a very wise and inspirational friend, I am going to be keeping a blog to hold myself accountable for doing these activities on the daily. I am not even sure what you will find here. I will be exploring many themes: what I want to be doing with my life; accomplishing goals; essays about books I am reading; playing the banjo; reflecting on grief and life, etc.
The blog will serve as my accountability partner, and you guys can participate in that too if you feel so inclined. Just know that I ALWAYS have wonderful excuses ;)
I did yoga this morning and boy was it nice to find myself on the mat again. I hate that I have gotten out of my daily yoga routine, but I am looking forward to listening to my body and getting stronger in my practice.
I am off to practice banjo now. Here is a short video from a few weeks ago. Just doing a little jam with a great friend of mine.
Thanks Nichla ;)
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Track Star on the Rise
I think by now most of you know I love to psychoanalyze myself. Somewhat recently, I found out that I am a runner. Not in the physical way of course- you know I don't like recognizable fitness.
The thought had occurred to me many times in the last few years but I never thought much of it. I was pretty stuck in one place then, so a physical departure wasn't feasible. That being said, there are more ways to disappear than just physically. I believe I use this disappearing act as a way to cope. Picture this: I received the Harry Houdini Award as a New Member in my sorority in 2011... even they knew what I didn't.
When I really think about it, I think this is something I have done my whole life. I have never been someone who likes change in my comforts. That is not to say I don't like change, because I do. It is to say, that I like my constants to remain constants- friends, family, home, traditions. I am not good with goodbyes. I suddenly get busy, or am late for a rather important date and I must must go immediately. I begin to detach from things when I know change is on the horizon- I skip out on plans, I ignore calls, I forget "us". Simply put, I retreat. I leave physically and emotionally, sometimes both, sometimes either or.
My running can get in the way, but since I am being honest about it now, I can only move forward. Generally people will tell you I am pretty bullshit free. I tend not to play mind games when I can help it. But I have to admit, some of the stuff I do is pretty inundated with bullshit- especially when it comes to dating. I am actually really shitty in relationships, both platonic and romantic. When it comes to friends, it is as I said before- I ignore their calls and cancel plans. I push them away sometimes and don't nurture the friendships like I should. I go missing for weeks at a time and luckily nothing ever changes in our friendship, but it is still something I recognize I shouldn't take advantage of. When it comes to boys, it could be said that I lead people on. I am a nice person and it is hard for me to be honest about my intentions sometimes. So what do I do? I talk normally for a few days, weeks, or months and then I just drop off the face of the earth. I block their number or ignore their texts every time it feels like it may get serious. Ain't no body got time for that. I am not looking for someone to tie me down and to be all in my business. Of course instead of saying that, I just leave them wondering. I feel bad about it, I do, but fear is an evil genius and he tells me what to do. The worst offense I believe was when I broke things off with my last serious boyfriend. I ended it, and 24 hours later jumped on a plane to Southeast Asia for a month. I actually went around the world to run. I didn't go to Asia because I broke up with him, but I don't think it was an accident that I ended things one day before I left my homeland. I didn't even blink. I never looked back and I had the time of my life on that trip, with the people and the culture and the experience.
So the question is, am I running from things, or am I running to things? I think it is a lot of both, and I believe they serve the same purpose. Like I said, I think the act of running is a coping mechanism for me. Coping with change, coping with loss, coping with the idea of loss, the idea of failure, the idea of the possibility of failure, the possibility of replacement, the fear... of everything the future holds, good and bad. The reverse side is that I love my independence. I don't want anything to hold me back or to hold me hostage. I need the freedom to run and to roam. The need to achieve things and make something of myself and this life gives me the stamina to run long distances without looking back. I run because I can and because I am afraid that if I don't continue to run, I will lose my ability to do so. My muscles will atrophy and I will become stuck in the monotony of life.
There is still the question of, "Why?" in a lot of cases. I think fear fuels most of my spurts and past experiences give me the speed to win. Maybe all of these little sprints in my past have been strength training for life; for distance; for the truth of the world; for the ugliness among the beauty of this life. Maybe all these times I have been running, I have been growing and learning. The running challenges me. It isn't always easier to run or to detach and retreat, but perhaps it was just what I need to succeed in the way I want to.
Lately, a lot of my running has been physical. I think especially when I finished school I was afraid of falling behind and being lapped by the other racers. I took off from the block and headed straight to Europe. Before my feet were even back on this soil I was running to Connecticut and now I am on the way to Germany. I have to ask myself, "Am I scared to commit? Am I scared to settle? Am I scared to be in one place- for fear of getting stuck and for fear of missing out on the rest of this world?"
Lil' Wayne can be a wise man, I tell you he is a lyrical genius. He once said, "If you ain't running with it, run from it motha' f&%$#@." Sage advice, Tunechi. I could not agree more. I am not running with the regular crowd. I am not working an office job and wearing a suit. I am not letting Corporate America own me. I am running from it, but I am also running towards something I believe will be better. Is this the only thing I am running from? No, probably not, but it is what is on my mind right now. I don't want to be like everybody else on the #workgrind. I am being naive and believing that if I find something I love and make it my career, I will never work a day in my life. I want my work to take me places. I want it to make me happy and fill me with a long-sought-after sense of accomplishment when I finally cross that finish line.
Following the lyrical gold, I am inspired by what the Avett Brothers had to say about running: "When you run, make sure you run to something and not away from." While these lyrics seem contradictory to Wayne's, they are simply referring to different things. Wayne is talking about not allowing yourself to follow others if you don't agree with what they are doing. On the other hand, the Avett Brothers are talking about standing your ground and not losing yourself because of fear or your past, or any other reason that may cause you to run. I think I can take this quirk of mine and make it work for me. I can run away and run towards something better at the same time. I have endured years of training and I am ready to compete professionally. I am running towards something- my future. It looks dark right now, but I am bringing a light.
Running has everything to do with why I love to travel. Constantly moving and maintaining a steady busy pace. It feels like my whole life has led me to this place, to this conclusion. I have trained for races. I have won some and lost some, but I have each day grown more prepared.
The thought had occurred to me many times in the last few years but I never thought much of it. I was pretty stuck in one place then, so a physical departure wasn't feasible. That being said, there are more ways to disappear than just physically. I believe I use this disappearing act as a way to cope. Picture this: I received the Harry Houdini Award as a New Member in my sorority in 2011... even they knew what I didn't.
When I really think about it, I think this is something I have done my whole life. I have never been someone who likes change in my comforts. That is not to say I don't like change, because I do. It is to say, that I like my constants to remain constants- friends, family, home, traditions. I am not good with goodbyes. I suddenly get busy, or am late for a rather important date and I must must go immediately. I begin to detach from things when I know change is on the horizon- I skip out on plans, I ignore calls, I forget "us". Simply put, I retreat. I leave physically and emotionally, sometimes both, sometimes either or.
My running can get in the way, but since I am being honest about it now, I can only move forward. Generally people will tell you I am pretty bullshit free. I tend not to play mind games when I can help it. But I have to admit, some of the stuff I do is pretty inundated with bullshit- especially when it comes to dating. I am actually really shitty in relationships, both platonic and romantic. When it comes to friends, it is as I said before- I ignore their calls and cancel plans. I push them away sometimes and don't nurture the friendships like I should. I go missing for weeks at a time and luckily nothing ever changes in our friendship, but it is still something I recognize I shouldn't take advantage of. When it comes to boys, it could be said that I lead people on. I am a nice person and it is hard for me to be honest about my intentions sometimes. So what do I do? I talk normally for a few days, weeks, or months and then I just drop off the face of the earth. I block their number or ignore their texts every time it feels like it may get serious. Ain't no body got time for that. I am not looking for someone to tie me down and to be all in my business. Of course instead of saying that, I just leave them wondering. I feel bad about it, I do, but fear is an evil genius and he tells me what to do. The worst offense I believe was when I broke things off with my last serious boyfriend. I ended it, and 24 hours later jumped on a plane to Southeast Asia for a month. I actually went around the world to run. I didn't go to Asia because I broke up with him, but I don't think it was an accident that I ended things one day before I left my homeland. I didn't even blink. I never looked back and I had the time of my life on that trip, with the people and the culture and the experience.
So the question is, am I running from things, or am I running to things? I think it is a lot of both, and I believe they serve the same purpose. Like I said, I think the act of running is a coping mechanism for me. Coping with change, coping with loss, coping with the idea of loss, the idea of failure, the idea of the possibility of failure, the possibility of replacement, the fear... of everything the future holds, good and bad. The reverse side is that I love my independence. I don't want anything to hold me back or to hold me hostage. I need the freedom to run and to roam. The need to achieve things and make something of myself and this life gives me the stamina to run long distances without looking back. I run because I can and because I am afraid that if I don't continue to run, I will lose my ability to do so. My muscles will atrophy and I will become stuck in the monotony of life.
There is still the question of, "Why?" in a lot of cases. I think fear fuels most of my spurts and past experiences give me the speed to win. Maybe all of these little sprints in my past have been strength training for life; for distance; for the truth of the world; for the ugliness among the beauty of this life. Maybe all these times I have been running, I have been growing and learning. The running challenges me. It isn't always easier to run or to detach and retreat, but perhaps it was just what I need to succeed in the way I want to.
Lately, a lot of my running has been physical. I think especially when I finished school I was afraid of falling behind and being lapped by the other racers. I took off from the block and headed straight to Europe. Before my feet were even back on this soil I was running to Connecticut and now I am on the way to Germany. I have to ask myself, "Am I scared to commit? Am I scared to settle? Am I scared to be in one place- for fear of getting stuck and for fear of missing out on the rest of this world?"
Lil' Wayne can be a wise man, I tell you he is a lyrical genius. He once said, "If you ain't running with it, run from it motha' f&%$#@." Sage advice, Tunechi. I could not agree more. I am not running with the regular crowd. I am not working an office job and wearing a suit. I am not letting Corporate America own me. I am running from it, but I am also running towards something I believe will be better. Is this the only thing I am running from? No, probably not, but it is what is on my mind right now. I don't want to be like everybody else on the #workgrind. I am being naive and believing that if I find something I love and make it my career, I will never work a day in my life. I want my work to take me places. I want it to make me happy and fill me with a long-sought-after sense of accomplishment when I finally cross that finish line.
Following the lyrical gold, I am inspired by what the Avett Brothers had to say about running: "When you run, make sure you run to something and not away from." While these lyrics seem contradictory to Wayne's, they are simply referring to different things. Wayne is talking about not allowing yourself to follow others if you don't agree with what they are doing. On the other hand, the Avett Brothers are talking about standing your ground and not losing yourself because of fear or your past, or any other reason that may cause you to run. I think I can take this quirk of mine and make it work for me. I can run away and run towards something better at the same time. I have endured years of training and I am ready to compete professionally. I am running towards something- my future. It looks dark right now, but I am bringing a light.
Running has everything to do with why I love to travel. Constantly moving and maintaining a steady busy pace. It feels like my whole life has led me to this place, to this conclusion. I have trained for races. I have won some and lost some, but I have each day grown more prepared.
"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other places, other lives, other souls."
-Anais NinI am running so that I may do these things- seek other places, other lives and other souls. So I can fill my life with others. So I can see the world. So I can be me.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Tinders and Tindon'ts
This is something I have been wanting to talk about for a while. In fact, I have named the article- The Realities of Technology, Dating and the Y Generation: Why Tinder is Our Friend. I promise I won't disclose everything from the article here- I need you to read the article one day!
In a nutshell, I think we should embrace all of the social media and dating sites at our fingertips. Think about how much larger the dating pool has become in the last 100, 20, even 5 years. A LOT! We are lucky to get so many options. The world is coming closer together and we get to take advantage of it. It is not just strictly dating, rather friends, connections and interactions in general.
The internet, and social media specifically, is helping me move on and still keep up with people from every part of my life. In a world that revolves around ourselves, it is hard to make the time to nurture all of the relationships that are important to us. With the help of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, I can quickly and easily see the things going on in people's lives. Is this the only interaction I want to have with them? No, but it is a good filler for the gap between our bi-annual phone calls. When distance makes it hard to see their face, Instagram is a nice reminder of what that face looks like. Technology is changing our world, it is changing how we communicate and it is stealing excuses to not do things. Technology allows us to be a world away, while never missing a beat. I am thankful to have this kind of witchcraft at my reach so that as I go further and further into this life, I don't have to sacrifice my friends or my memories.
Tinder is great. I am not even being sarcastic when I say this. I think that social media and "dating" sites like Tinder are bringing all the people of the world to one place. It is amazing that time changes, oceans, and cultural differences don't stand a chance in keeping people apart. For example, someone that I consider one of my best friends is a Dutch guy I met on Tinder while backpacking across Europe. It has been 7 months and we still talk everyday. I love the idea of there being an endless amount of people to get to know in this world, and the idea that they aren't that far away. At this point, Neptune isn't even that far off.
But lesbihonest, Tinder can be a bit much to handle and it goes from 0 mph to 100 mph in no time at all. My friend and I compiled a short list of the reasons we swipe left. They aren't mutually exclusive unfortunately.
I don't have to tell you that the list goes on...and on...and on. You have Tindered before, deleted the app after your shame set in, declared it too entertaining, and redownloaded, if only to round out the list above.
However, let's not get comfortable just yet. Perfectly respectable matches will always surprise you with grossly inappropriate "Moments." I wish I could go into detail on a few, but I will spare you and my parents the dirty deets. #immediateregret #filtersonmomentslololololol Even worse, perfectly respectable matches can message you with some wild propositions. We have seen every Tumblr out there dedicated to the atrocities on Tinder and I can tell from firsthand experience, that they are not staged!
Regardless of all the terrifying, there are good stories out there too. I know plenty of people who have met some really neat friends, boyfriends, adventurers, and partners using Tinder. It isn't romantic but it saves a lot of the bullshit and niceties. I really like that people can only message back and forth when they have both agreed to it. We have all been in that awkward place where someone you have NO INTEREST in talking to messages you and you are stuck between a rock and a bitch place.
The point is, take a risk. Meet new people. You don't have to make it romantic. Be reachable. Be a part of the World Wide Web that brings people closer. I think this is the perfect opportunity to stop making excuses and use all the resources we have to find the best people to be in our lives. We have what no other generation before us has had- the world at our fingertips at light speed. We can make this big world a small place.
In a nutshell, I think we should embrace all of the social media and dating sites at our fingertips. Think about how much larger the dating pool has become in the last 100, 20, even 5 years. A LOT! We are lucky to get so many options. The world is coming closer together and we get to take advantage of it. It is not just strictly dating, rather friends, connections and interactions in general.
The internet, and social media specifically, is helping me move on and still keep up with people from every part of my life. In a world that revolves around ourselves, it is hard to make the time to nurture all of the relationships that are important to us. With the help of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, I can quickly and easily see the things going on in people's lives. Is this the only interaction I want to have with them? No, but it is a good filler for the gap between our bi-annual phone calls. When distance makes it hard to see their face, Instagram is a nice reminder of what that face looks like. Technology is changing our world, it is changing how we communicate and it is stealing excuses to not do things. Technology allows us to be a world away, while never missing a beat. I am thankful to have this kind of witchcraft at my reach so that as I go further and further into this life, I don't have to sacrifice my friends or my memories.
Tinder is great. I am not even being sarcastic when I say this. I think that social media and "dating" sites like Tinder are bringing all the people of the world to one place. It is amazing that time changes, oceans, and cultural differences don't stand a chance in keeping people apart. For example, someone that I consider one of my best friends is a Dutch guy I met on Tinder while backpacking across Europe. It has been 7 months and we still talk everyday. I love the idea of there being an endless amount of people to get to know in this world, and the idea that they aren't that far away. At this point, Neptune isn't even that far off.
But lesbihonest, Tinder can be a bit much to handle and it goes from 0 mph to 100 mph in no time at all. My friend and I compiled a short list of the reasons we swipe left. They aren't mutually exclusive unfortunately.
- Mirror selfies- if girls can't, you can't
- Pictures in front of cars
- Gangster signs (Thanks Olivia)
- Same girl in every photo- Hello, obvious
- Group photos where you are positively unidentifiable
- Cargo shorts- Just NO
- Any profile picture sans face (Thanks Olivia)
- Bad brand-name clothes
- White sunglasses- Especially when paired with puka shell jewels
- Black button downs with vertical stripes or solid brightly colored ties
- Earrings- Diamonds are a GIRLS best friend...
- Use of emojis to tell me that you smoke marijuana
- Not showing teeth
- People who declare they are looking for love
- People who have pictures with their children (Thanks Olivia)
- Any photos in the bathroom
- Car selfies- Buckle up for safety
- Anything with a bride
- Body builders
- Cross fit competition photos- Originality counts people!
- Any allusion to your package and its endowments
- Selfies of you in bed (Thanks Olivia)
- No model status photos (Thanks Olivia)
- Proud male nurses- Be whatever, but don't be cocky
I don't have to tell you that the list goes on...and on...and on. You have Tindered before, deleted the app after your shame set in, declared it too entertaining, and redownloaded, if only to round out the list above.
However, let's not get comfortable just yet. Perfectly respectable matches will always surprise you with grossly inappropriate "Moments." I wish I could go into detail on a few, but I will spare you and my parents the dirty deets. #immediateregret #filtersonmomentslololololol Even worse, perfectly respectable matches can message you with some wild propositions. We have seen every Tumblr out there dedicated to the atrocities on Tinder and I can tell from firsthand experience, that they are not staged!
Regardless of all the terrifying, there are good stories out there too. I know plenty of people who have met some really neat friends, boyfriends, adventurers, and partners using Tinder. It isn't romantic but it saves a lot of the bullshit and niceties. I really like that people can only message back and forth when they have both agreed to it. We have all been in that awkward place where someone you have NO INTEREST in talking to messages you and you are stuck between a rock and a bitch place.
The point is, take a risk. Meet new people. You don't have to make it romantic. Be reachable. Be a part of the World Wide Web that brings people closer. I think this is the perfect opportunity to stop making excuses and use all the resources we have to find the best people to be in our lives. We have what no other generation before us has had- the world at our fingertips at light speed. We can make this big world a small place.
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