We are currently in the air, somehwere over New England I can assume. Its hot on this plane and a baby has been crying for the duration of the 2 hour flight.
Things going through my head:
I need some cards. I guess I will buy them with dinner in Newark-- they will probably be a lot of fun on the trains and even in the hostels with other KEWL travelers. Broke a nail, dern. Need an emory board. This is a joke; I can't believe Target was out. Who runs out of emory boards? Why didn't I get a snack? Doesn't united do pretzels? Or do they do biscotti? Who does the biscotti? Is it Southwest? Did I check flight prices for Southwest? Wonder if it was cheaper. Remember when Papa John had those biscotti crackers and then bought a value pack at Sams Club?
Despite how illprepared I feel for this trip, I know that I am going to learn a lot. I have already practiced my patience, flexibilty and quick wit. I am really looking forward to this adventure-- of course you know I can't wait for the food (SHOCK), but I think mainly I am pumped about meeting so many new people! I can't wait to interact with the other young travelers and hear their stories and get their opinion on our travel plans and career paths and god knows what else I will want to ask them. I know everyone says that they would want to travel more if they could and for a living even, but I actually think I am cut out for it. I don't mean traveling as a business(wo)man in a suit and stuff, but traveling as a person, experienceing other people and cultures, food, and scenery.
Starting the decent, I want to close by talking a little about Graduation. I am sad about leaving despite having this awesome trip to look forward to and to keep me occupied. There is some emptiness in my heart where BSC and all my classmates went in it. In this huge transition time, I have to keep reminding myself that when I get back, everything is going to be different. I want to know that when I come home, I may not be pulling back on campus, but that all my friends are still living in Birmingham and planning to stay just a little while. The truth is that everyone is going 80 different ways and I am not even certain that I am not one of those people at this point. The anxiety of not having a job back home is killing me. I know I gave up the whole plan your whole life out second-by-second thing, but I am just worried that I won't be able to make ends meet; that I won't be able to support myself on my own; that even though I have been told the last 4 years were preparation for this, I will still fail. Don't get me wrong, I know failure is healthy to some extent, I just don't want to be unhappy and if there is anything that makes me unhappy, its financial anxiety. Back to the point though...I hate change. I LOVE new things and updates and innovation and whatever but when it comes to friends, I hate the movement. Its the uncertainty of finding friends as good as these and the weight on my shoulders to remember to keep up with each of them. How do older people do it? It's already a struggle to keep up with high school friends, but now to keep up with high school friends, college friends, and family, all while balancing new relationships. Am I the only freak who thinks of all of these things? A college friend, Amy Heldt, once said it best, "Here is how Jane's brain works: We are having a conversation about C and D, but meanwhile, Jane is also thinking about A, B, E, F, and G and then suddenly she reverts the conversation back to Q, L, and Z." It is too true to tell you the truth. She nailed it and I guess most of my friends have had the same thought about my train of thought. Keep reading and you will soon understand... that is if you don't already.
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