Do You Believe in Magic?

I am out eating Chinese with Nana when it comes to me. Literally it comes to me on a black tray with the ticket. I broke my routine for opening fortunes and read the fortune before I ate the cookie. I felt compelled.

You will be a good comfort

If it hadn't come at that exact moment I don't know if it would have meant as much to me as it did. The whole day was filled with conflict as I am thinking about moving to Connecticut. I thought I knew that I was moving- I have totally convinced myself it is the right move. For me and for my sister. I want to move because I am ready for something new and I desperately need a change of scenery. More than that, I have this urgent feeling that I need to spend time with my sister and best friend now. While we are young, and single (well just me), and free from responsibility (children) and major stress. I just want to make the most of my time with her now. Not that I plan to disappear or for her to do the same, but that I just don't want to look back and see a missed opportunity. When Jordan and I were growing up, I never knew that our last summer was upon us. When Jordan went to college I didn't know that things would never be the same; I didn't know that we would never live together at the home we grew up in again; I didn't know that she would be moving to New England and getting married. How would I know? I didn't even know that when I went to college I wouldn't be living at home again. It took me her entire college experience and mine to realize that is what happens when you start to grow up. I say all this to prove that, for closure at the very least, I need to live with my sissy again. We will wreck shit. We will share so many laughs, tears, drinks, desserts and tidbits of the wisdom we have collected on our separate journeys in this life. 

Why was this even a question then? Well a number of reasons really. I love Birmingham- I have come to know this amazing city as home. Beyond that, the people in Birmingham have come to be my family. Its hard to say goodbye of something that grew and nurtured you into who you are today. On top of that, all slew of dead end job applications from the Spring turned into an interview at my Alma Mater. There is a catch though- even though I want to work at Birmingham-Southern eventually and now even, this position is for a Graduate Assistant and I am not in graduate school and don't have plans to be in the next 3-5 years. I have a lot of exploring to do yet. They know that I am not a student but that doesn't really change the specifics of the position. I would be part-time (I assume), living on campus (not allowed to hang out with my friends who are still there), and living on $1000 a month (sort of impossible with loans, bills, and my eating and drinking habits). Still, I could use the experience in any fashion- not to mention a JOB period. 

Truly hung up on this decision I have been ignoring it (what I do best) until it just solves itself or until people are sick of hearing me battle with decisiveness. At lunch today, an old friend told me, "Sometimes we don't chose the path, but the path chooses us." I honestly wanted to punch him. Who does this shit actually work on? When the path has chosen me, when exactly will it let me know? How does it plan on contacting me? It is the same way I feel when my Dad tells me to pray about it. I really haven't ever been a big on praying. For much the same reason- how will I know when someone has answered me? What means to an end is this supposed to be? Where do I get this push? Sign? Hear this voice? I really hate it when people say, "I am just going to put it all in God's hands." And what is he going to do with it? Is he going to find a job for you and negotiate a salary while he's there to interview? Maybe I am too literal, but that is me and I can not seem to move past it. So this is where I find comfort in signs. I have always been a big believer. It sort of goes hand-in-hand with my ignore it method. I ignore the issue until an answer presents itself out of the blue in the form of a sign. I didn't ask anyone to procure it for me, it just shows up when I need it. Maybe my heart is the one deciding what constitutes a sign and what it means. 

To explain that one, I need to talk about an episode of the Big Bang Theory I saw the other day. Sheldon is trying to decide between buying the Xbox One and a PS4. I swear to you he grieves over it for a week and then finally makes a decision, gets to the store and then second guesses everything. It is a magnified version of every decision I ever make. He is in anguish over it. Amy is there with him and after hours of sitting patiently hearing the pros and cons of each machine, she suggests he flip a coin to decide. Her argument is simple- the act will show you what you really want based on your happiness or disappointment at the outcome. What you truly want is revealed through such a simple exercise. Granted, I think you have to be at a certain point in the process to get the best results. 

Jump back a few steps. What am I looking, waiting, wishing for? Should I flip a coin and see what my heart says? I think thats exactly what the sign I found earlier today did. It took a regular fortune and turned it into the answer I have been waiting for to pop out of the toaster and scare the shit out of me. My heart chose these words to stick out and mean something. My stomach lurched when I read it because I had the answer. 

You will be a good comfort

I have to move to Connecticut to be with Jordan. I will be a good comfort. I do not want her to be alone there, I don't want to miss her everyday and for her to miss me. I want to be there. I want to. WANT. It doesn't feel like a chore or something to satisfy someone else. It feels like the beginning of my next adventure. 

July 2nd- Limerick, Ireland

This is the end. You know when you wake up and you just know it is going to be a bad day? That is how I felt when I woke up. Subconsciously I must have known that today was my last day here. 45 days gone in a flash. More on this later, first I will tell you about Limerick.

Did you know it was called Stab city? Yeah me neither... Jelmer (my Netherlands friend) informed me this morning and it is not settling well. Dave showed us a great walking route to take around Limerick to see the sights here and o we set off to do that after I gave Katelyn another hairwap (Katelyn's hairwrapcount-3). We grabbed lunch at guess where?? Supermac's! And it wasn't even for tradition sake, it was because we honestly couldn't find anything else more than a scone. We walked to King's Island after that but not before stopping in Penney's just because we had to. We didn't get anything don't worry. Limerick is also more widely known as the City of Churches and so naturally our first stop was St. Mary's Cathedral. A beautiful cathedral with an impressive graveyard, holding a number of noteworthy people. We are too broke at this point to go in so we admired it from the outside. Continuing on our walk we made our way to King John's Castle. The tour starts with an expansive museum chock full of facts and history. So much that I can't keep it all straight. I do know that King John never visited the castle during his lifetime athough he was the one who ordered the building of it in the 12th century. It took many decades to finish the castle because of the economic fluctuation of the area. There is a great wealth of history that I am not sharing with you simply because I wasn't able to retain it all. The interactive museum was really cool and afterwards we got to see and visit some of the castle ruins and towers that were still standing. We got a great view of the city and then played dress up because once a 7 year old girls, always a 7 year old girl- or something like that. 

From here we continued walking to the boardwalk where we saw the treaty stone- no idea what it is but we didn't really stop to learn. There were some hoodrats nearby and we wanted to bypass them. We walked around Limerick a little more and felt sketched out so we ducked into a cupcake shop for a hot cocoa and some wifi. We were trying to burn some time before dinner because once we left the city, there was no food out there. We ended up deciding to see a movie but we couldn't find the theater that google insisted was there. A girl our age stopped to help us and said it was a little ways away and offered to drive us. I was all like ummm no we can walk but then she assured us she wasn't crazy (because that always works and is really reliable) but we trusted her and decided to grab a ride. We walked a ways and chatted until her boyfriend James picked us all up to transport us to the theater. James was Irish and the girl whose name was exotic and long had been dting for 4 years. She moved to Limerick from Italy a few months before to be with James and was now working for a financial firm locally. They were 23/24 and were really really sweet. They showed us where to catch the bus and all that, wished us well and went on their way. 

Katelyn and I were right on time for How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was perfect. As I said, I am already in an emotional state so it was perfectly normal for me to cry 3 different times during this touching movie. It is so hard for a sequel to be as good as the first movie, or even good at all for that matter, but this movie was fantastic! 

We ate and went to the bus stop and I cried again. I cried at dinner too. I don't want to leave. I want to talk about why but I think I am going to wait until the next post. It deserves a post of its own I think, plus I need more brain power to get out all that I want to share and right now I am running near empty. 

P.S. I got a new hairwrap (Jane hairwrap count-4). There is no such thing as too many. 

July 1st- Galway & Limerick, Ireland

We pooted around Galway until 2 and you will never guess where we went. Penney's and Supermac's. We have decided it will be somewhat of a tradition.  I got some denim shorts because well why the hell not? The train was tiny but it was a painless trek. I don't really rememeber what I have said and what I haven't said at this point so I will say it again- the Irish people are so nice. They are more than willing to help you out and go out of their way to make you feel at home and at ease. They are polite, hilarious, and helpful. When we made it to Limerick we bused to the Bed and Breakfast and were greeted by our host Rose. She was too sweet and so happy to have us! We were in a much more residential area than we expected but it was quiet and safe nonetheless. We rested for a moment and then showered because well to be honest we hadn't the day before. We were plannin to head to the city center for dinner but we had discussed having traditional Irish with Rose when we arrived and she had come over to invited us for Bacon and Cabbage. Since the bus schedule was so weird anyway we decided we would love a free meal and some homecooking! We met her husband Dave who was so sweet and funny just like all the rest of the Irish people we have encountered. The meal was delicious and afterwards we had Irish tea, icecream and meringues. We sat around the table and chatted with Rose and Dave and the other guests for a while. There was a 15yr old boy names Keith whose relation to the family is unknown and a Bulgarian Doctor named Simione. It was a great chat, a delcious dinner, and a welcomed gesture. It was also the night of the US v Belgium game so Katelyn and I walked to the nearest pub to watch the game over a few Guinness pints. I tell you, I can't get enough of this Guinness. We were the only girls in the place and it was nearly desserted anyway. There may have been 12 locals there all watching the game as well. Everyone was cheering on the US so that was fun! We played a hell of a game but didn't pull through. They gave us their condolences and we headed back to the house. 

Found this at Penneys and in the spirit of the game tonight decided to take a picture with it. 

June 30th- Galway, Ireland

Cliffs of Moher. More like Cliffs of Mother of Pearl. These sights are amazing. It is hard to believe all of this beauty surrounds us on a daily basis. Makes me feel less lonely in this big ole world. That is something I have learned here, or rather put into perspective- how small our world is and how similar we are to everyone around the world. It is amazing to think that no matter how different your backgrounds, we are all the same. In the same boat, making the same living, on the same green earth, towards the same ends. 

We started the tour around 9:30 and we stopped at a number of spots on our way to the cliffs. Our guide was hilarious. His name was PJ and he taught me how funny the Irish people are. We saw an Abbey and a portal grave (super cool) and a castle and ld Celtic settlement all  from various times in Irish history dating as far back as like 300 BC. Insane. How can places be this old and still standing?? Its a wonder people, just standing near something that old is wild. 

The cliffs were gorgeous. It was a great day with no rain and no mist or low clouds blocking my view of these gorgeous sea side cliffs. The Atlantic is beautiful from this side. I had made a friend on the bus-Kate from Arizona- and we hiked out passed the cement wall to the edges and hung our heads over the 216 meter fall. It was crazy- I was like crawling on the edge in my dress because I didn't want the wind to blow me off- you know because I am soooo thin and this kind of thing would happen. I can say I did it though. We only had a short time to visit the cliffs before we had to be back at the bus so after what felt like 25 individual photo shoots we headed back. The visitors center is built into the side of a hill and is 1. huge, 2. state of the art, 3. really cool and looks likes the teletubbies house. 

I chatted with Kate the whole way back and when we made it to Galway we made plans to grab dinner together and then go out for music and drinks. We met at Quay Bar for dinner and it was a trip. First of all Kate found wire in her Lamb stew and katelyn cut her finger on some loose glass from her pint glass. I suffered no injuries that I know of but I was living in constant fear I tell you. We went to the bar PJ (the bus driver) suggested for music. It was called Crane bar and was a little ways from the beaten path. It was super local and therefore really cool! We had a few pints while we listened to locals play their various instruments and sing together. What a cool experience! 

We headed to Quay bar again then hoping to catch some river dancing but were instead met with a pleathera of tourists and a band playing American covers. Not my cup of tea in Ireland honestly. We just had one beer there and headed back. I was however introduced to a great Stout if you are in the market for one. Murphy's Irish stout. It was really dark and smooth with a strong coffee flavor. A top choice! My friend Jelmer actually told me about Murphy's. He lives in the Netherlands but spent some time in Ireland. He prefers the Irish Red so if you have had it let me know how it was- I wasn't able to find it at these bars. 

It was a good night all in all but nothing like what I hoped or expected the nights in Ireland to be like. I want to come back and experience the true Irish culture and share pints with locals. It's all about the culture for me you know.