Track Star on the Rise

I think by now most of you know I love to psychoanalyze myself. Somewhat recently, I found out that I am a runner. Not in the physical way of course- you know I don't like recognizable fitness. 

The thought had occurred to me many times in the last few years but I never thought much of it. I was pretty stuck in one place then, so a physical departure wasn't feasible. That being said, there are more ways to disappear than just physically. I believe I use this disappearing act as a way to cope. Picture this: I received the Harry Houdini Award as a New Member in my sorority in 2011... even they knew what I didn't. 

When I really think about it, I think this is something I have done my whole life. I have never been someone who likes change in my comforts. That is not to say I don't like change, because I do. It is to say, that I like my constants to remain constants- friends, family, home, traditions. I am not good with goodbyes. I suddenly get busy, or am late for a rather important date and I must must go immediately. I begin to detach from things when I know change is on the horizon- I skip out on plans, I ignore calls, I forget "us". Simply put, I retreat. I leave physically and emotionally, sometimes both, sometimes either or. 

My running can get in the way, but since I am being honest about it now, I can only move forward. Generally people will tell you I am pretty bullshit free. I tend not to play mind games when I can help it. But I have to admit, some of the stuff I do is pretty inundated with bullshit- especially when it comes to dating. I am actually really shitty in relationships, both platonic and romantic. When it comes to friends, it is as I said before- I ignore their calls and cancel plans. I push them away sometimes and don't nurture the friendships like I should. I go missing for weeks at a time and luckily nothing ever changes in our friendship, but it is still something I recognize I shouldn't take advantage of. When it comes to boys, it could be said that I lead people on. I am a nice person and it is hard for me to be honest about my intentions sometimes. So what do I do? I talk normally for a few days, weeks, or months and then I just drop off the face of the earth. I block their number or ignore their texts every time it feels like it may get serious. Ain't no body got time for that. I am not looking for someone to tie me down and to be all in my business. Of course instead of saying that, I just leave them wondering. I feel bad about it, I do, but fear is an evil genius and he tells me what to do. The worst offense I believe was when I broke things off with my last serious boyfriend. I ended it, and 24 hours later jumped on a plane to Southeast Asia for a month. I actually went around the world to run. I didn't go to Asia because I broke up with him, but I don't think it was an accident that I ended things one day before I left my homeland. I didn't even blink. I never looked back and I had the time of my life on that trip, with the people and the culture and the experience.

So the question is, am I running from things, or am I running to things? I think it is a lot of both, and I believe they serve the same purpose. Like I said, I think the act of running is a coping mechanism for me. Coping with change, coping with loss, coping with the idea of loss, the idea of failure, the idea of the possibility of failure, the possibility of replacement, the fear... of everything the future holds, good and bad. The reverse side is that I love my independence. I don't want anything to hold me back or to hold me hostage. I need the freedom to run and to roam. The need to achieve things and make something of myself and this life gives me the stamina to run long distances without looking back. I run because I can and because I am afraid that if I don't continue to run, I will lose my ability to do so. My muscles will atrophy and I will become stuck in the monotony of life. 

There is still the question of, "Why?" in a lot of cases. I think fear fuels most of my spurts and past experiences give me the speed to win. Maybe all of these little sprints in my past have been strength training for life; for distance; for the truth of the world; for the ugliness among the beauty of this life. Maybe all these times I have been running, I have been growing and learning. The running challenges me. It isn't always easier to run or to detach and retreat, but perhaps it was just what I need to succeed in the way I want to.

Lately, a lot of my running has been physical. I think especially when I finished school I was afraid of falling behind and being lapped by the other racers. I took off from the block and headed straight to Europe. Before my feet were even back on this soil I was running to Connecticut and now I am on the way to Germany. I have to ask myself, "Am I scared to commit? Am I scared to settle? Am I scared to be in one place- for fear of getting stuck and for fear of missing out on the rest of this world?" 

Lil' Wayne can be a wise man, I tell you he is a lyrical genius. He once said, "If you ain't running with it, run from it motha' f&%$#@." Sage advice, Tunechi. I could not agree more. I am not running with the regular crowd. I am not working an office job and wearing a suit. I am not letting Corporate America own me. I am running from it, but I am also running towards something I believe will be better. Is this the only thing I am running from? No, probably not, but it is what is on my mind right now. I don't want to be like everybody else on the #workgrind. I am being naive and believing that if I find something I love and make it my career, I will never work a day in my life. I want my work to take me places. I want it to make me happy and fill me with a long-sought-after sense of accomplishment when I finally cross that finish line. 

Following the lyrical gold, I am inspired by what the Avett Brothers had to say about running: "When you run, make sure you run to something and not away from." While these lyrics seem contradictory to Wayne's, they are simply referring to different things. Wayne is talking about not allowing yourself to follow others if you don't agree with what they are doing. On the other hand, the Avett Brothers are talking about standing your ground and not losing yourself because of fear or your past, or any other reason that may cause you to run. I think I can take this quirk of mine and make it work for me. I can run away and run towards something better at the same time. I have endured years of training and I am ready to compete professionally. I am running towards something- my future. It looks dark right now, but I am bringing a light. 

Running has everything to do with why I love to travel. Constantly moving and maintaining a steady busy pace. It feels like my whole life has led me to this place, to this conclusion. I have trained for races. I have won some and lost some, but I have each day grown more prepared. 

   "We travel, some of us forever, to seek other places, other lives, other souls." 

                                                              -Anais Nin

I am running so that I may do these things- seek other places, other lives and other souls. So I can fill my life with others. So I can see the world. So I can be me. 

Tinders and Tindon'ts

This is something I have been wanting to talk about for a while. In fact, I have named the article- The Realities of Technology, Dating and the Y Generation: Why Tinder is Our Friend. I promise I won't disclose everything from the article here- I need you to read the article one day!

In a nutshell, I think we should embrace all of the social media and dating sites at our fingertips. Think about how much larger the dating pool has become in the last 100, 20, even 5 years. A LOT! We are lucky to get so many options. The world is coming closer together and we get to take advantage of it. It is not just strictly dating, rather friends, connections and interactions in general.

The internet, and social media specifically, is helping me move on and still keep up with people from every part of my life. In a world that revolves around ourselves, it is hard to make the time to nurture all of the relationships that are important to us. With the help of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, I can quickly and easily see the things going on in people's lives. Is this the only interaction I want to have with them? No, but it is a good filler for the gap between our bi-annual phone calls. When distance makes it hard to see their face, Instagram is a nice reminder of what that face looks like. Technology is changing our world, it is changing how we communicate and it is stealing excuses to not do things. Technology allows us to be a world away, while never missing a beat. I am thankful to have this kind of witchcraft at my reach so that as I go further and further into this life, I don't have to sacrifice my friends or my memories.

Tinder is great. I am not even being sarcastic when I say this. I think that social media and "dating" sites like Tinder are bringing all the people of the world to one place. It is amazing that time changes, oceans, and cultural differences don't stand a chance in keeping people apart. For example, someone that I consider one of my best friends is a Dutch guy I met on Tinder while backpacking across Europe. It has been 7 months and we still talk everyday. I love the idea of there being an endless amount of people to get to know in this world, and the idea that they aren't that far away. At this point, Neptune isn't even that far off.

But lesbihonest, Tinder can be a bit much to handle and it goes from 0 mph to 100 mph in no time at all. My friend and I compiled a short list of the reasons we swipe left. They aren't mutually exclusive unfortunately.

• Mirror selfies- if girls can't, you can't
• Pictures in front of cars
• Gangster signs (Thanks Olivia)
• Same girl in every photo- Hello, obvious
• Group photos where you are positively unidentifiable
• Cargo shorts- Just NO
• Any profile picture sans face (Thanks Olivia)
• Bad brand-name clothes
• White sunglasses- Especially when paired with puka shell jewels
• Black button downs with vertical stripes or solid brightly colored ties
• Earrings- Diamonds are a GIRLS best friend...
• Use of emojis to tell me that you smoke marijuana
• Not showing teeth
• People who declare they are looking for love
• People who have pictures with their children (Thanks Olivia)
• Any photos in the bathroom
• Car selfies- Buckle up for safety
• Anything with a bride
• Body builders
• Cross fit competition photos- Originality counts people!
• Any allusion to your package and its endowments
• Selfies of you in bed (Thanks Olivia)
• No model status photos (Thanks Olivia)
• Proud male nurses- Be whatever, but don't be cocky

I don't have to tell you that the list goes on...and on...and on. You have Tindered before, deleted the app after your shame set in, declared it too entertaining, and redownloaded, if only to round out the list above.

However, let's not get comfortable just yet. Perfectly respectable matches will always surprise you with grossly inappropriate "Moments." I wish I could go into detail on a few, but I will spare you and my parents the dirty deets. #immediateregret #filtersonmomentslololololol Even worse, perfectly respectable matches can message you with some wild propositions. We have seen every Tumblr out there dedicated to the atrocities on Tinder and I can tell from firsthand experience, that they are not staged!

Regardless of all the terrifying, there are good stories out there too. I know plenty of people who have  met some really neat friends, boyfriends, adventurers, and partners using Tinder. It isn't romantic but it saves a lot of the bullshit and niceties. I really like that people can only message back and forth when they have both agreed to it. We have all been in that awkward place where someone you have NO INTEREST in talking to messages you and you are stuck between a rock and a bitch place.

The point is, take a risk. Meet new people. You don't have to make it romantic. Be reachable. Be a part of the World Wide Web that brings people closer. I think this is the perfect opportunity to stop making excuses and use all the resources we have to find the best people to be in our lives. We have what no other generation before us has had- the world at our fingertips at light speed. We can make this big world a small place.

In Loving Memory

Dear Trudi,

I hate those days when bad news comes. So unexpected and so unwelcome, it waltzes in like our old forgotten friend. I never expected to hear those words through the receiver a thousand miles away from our home away from home.

I don't want to pretend that I was one of your close friends. I just want to tell you how big of an impact you had on me. It is my pleasure to call you a sister. It was a pleasure to share some of my life with you and it is my honor to have gotten to share some of yours.

What an incredibly beautiful person you are. I am certain I will never meet a soul as forgiving as yours. You are uplifting and you have an incredible amount of love in your heart. I am looking back at some of our correspondence when you were leaving KD and I wrote this,

"I hope that Alpha Upsilon can help you transition to a better semester, even it that means letting you spread your wings out of our circle. As cheesy as it sounds, our mission, if you remember, is to inspire women to greatness and better know those without our circle. I think you are on a mission to better know those without our circle, and that is exactly what a KD lady is made to do. We want to inspire you to greatness and help you be the best Trudi.

 I admire your attitude and your perseverance. I know that you will do great things in your time.... If you ever need anything (support, love, ears), please come to me or the chapter. We love you and will always hold true to our AOT."

You spread your wings. You got into your grove. You inspired other women to greatness by being yourself and sharing your energy with those around you. Your attitude is unmatchable. You are kind, silly, bright and refreshing. I will always be affected by your presence. I am so glad I got to see you accomplish great things. I am proud of who you are. I will always know you as a sister and I will be here for you always. KD is forever. Just remember what those letters stand for and know that I will never waiver on that.

Remember that time you accidentally came into the wrong apartment when you were a freshman? Instead of turning around embarrassed you sat down with a group of mainly strangers and just talked for 2 or 3 hours. We danced on the floor and sat around with no furniture and a bunch of smiles. Your energy lighting the dark room. Thank you for showing me that light. Thank you for your smile. Thank you for your faith in me.

I hope you got to that better place we talked about.

Good vibrations and love in AOT,
Jane

Seri-es (*read: Serious) Goodbyes

I have been working my way through all of the episodes of The Office. For a long time I had heard about it and people told me that I needed to watch it. Finally, I did. Sometimes it just pissed me off because Michael's management style was so inefficient; sometimes Pam was stupid and selfish; sometimes Angela was a bitch. All the time, I was learning life lessons and building relationships with people who are "fictional." They became my family and the people who get me through each day; the people I turned to when I was down; who made sure I wasn't bored; the last people I thought about before I went to bed; people who mean a lot to me and people who I grew to love even with their rough parts. It is just wild because they felt like my only friends.

I know it was only a tv show but it has marked my existence in Connecticut so far. I have very few people here who I know and interact with (including my sister's dog, Brody, and cat, Spanky). The Office was my family. I think I cried as much as I laughed throughout the brilliant series.

Their friendships were mine. Dwight was my annoying best friend. Kevin was my lovable fellow foodie. Ryan was that guy I could not understand but I still wanted to be like. Michael was my Dad in this house away from home. Phyllis was in my knitting circle and Kelly and Meredith were my happy hour crew. I miss working there and being a part of the Dunder Miflin family. It makes me miss my other friendships and want to hold them close. It puts things in perspective. Things are fleeting but life is always happening. I feel like I am waiting for it to begin but it never stopped moving.

With all of this camaraderie and affection in mind, a question comes forms in the shadowy depths of my head. It is going to sound weird at first, just warning you. Why don't we kiss the ones we love on the lips? Most of us are raised kissing everyone who pinches our cheeks on the lips. When did we decide we were too cool for that? Who taught us that at some point you have to pretend you do not care? When did love become so downplayed and unimportant? I want the people I take time to nurture relationships with to know that I love them. A kiss on the lips is nothing. When we were blooming preteens struggling with our sexuality, kissing on the lips may have been racy but that is in the past and I want to bring it back. I want to be able to show my affection. I am not talking a 3-second, sloppy, wet smack on the lips. But a peck goodbye; an embrace; an IRL xoxo. I don't want to make it awkward. Friends, I will not force it, but you should expect it. I constantly reinforce relationships verbally. I just think it needs another layer of protection. Like sealing a pinky swear with a kiss on the pact, let us seal our promise of friendship with a kiss on the lips.

Revisiting the fact that my friends (aka the cast of The Office) have grown up and moved away, I want to talk about the alone rut. Since I need to develop new friends, it only seems fitting that I should explain why I have yet to do so. What is this, you ask? The alone rut can be described as the feeling of being more alone in a group setting than being alone all by yourself. I am hardcore in the alone rut. As you know, I only know a handful of people here, the majority being those friends of my sister and her husband. I feel like a small child being unwillingly dragged from party to party. Even though I sit alone all day and feel malnourished waiting for human interaction, I would sometimes rather stay home than go out with their friends. I feel like I am sitting perfectly invisible between multiple conversations with nothing to add to any of them. For starters, I am in an entirely different place with my life, but even so, I do not feel any connection to the group. I feel more alone and unlike anyone when I succumb to these outings than when I can talk to myself in the comfort of my sister's home. I am desperate for friends, but I think desperate for the friends I already have. I may have high expectations in wanting these people to be my people. It is an impossible dream.

So I say goodbye to my friends on The Office and I offer them a full frontal snog on the way out of the door. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for helping with the move. Thank you for reminding me of what is really important.

Woe is Me- the new title to every blog post from here on out.

I just need to write. You know when you are crying and you can barely see the keyboard through the tears? Well that is where I am at right now and I am thankful I know where the keys are. 

I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. In the last two days, I have slept five hours collectively and I am on my way to another sleepless night. I can't get comfortable; I can't turn my mind off. I tried a sleep aid but it made me restless and achey, which seems counteractive. 

What should I be [*silently, "When I grow up"]? Well, I want to do what I love- duh. Okay, so what is that? See, the problem is that I love so many things. Unrelated things. Is there a way to do 50 kajillion things at once and be like scuber duber successful, because I want to do that. I want to be the jack of all trades and the expert of none. I want that life. Where am I going? Who am I? 

You know what is worse than that though? How small my problems really are. I know (at least I sincerely hope) that one day I will look back on this time and laugh and think how lucky I was to have the freedom to choose and to have all of the world's possibilities at my feet. I look on my Facebook page and see people my age dying, raising children, facing cancer. What happened to simpler times? Do you remember when brownie mix came in a bag and there was only one kind? I was at the store today and there were over 30 boxes and I just exasperatedly shouted for a bag of brownie mix- plain and simple. The old lady walking by looked at me like I was one with her and I am beginning to feel like I am. What have I become? Why must the world harden people? I am perfectly gullible and the world won't even let me play the fool. It AIN'T right, people. 

I missed my nephews birthday after thinking about it a least four times this week. Like really Jane? He is 8. He remembers that you forgot, you piece of shit.

The thing is, I am good at getting things done. The problem is that I don't have any project that seems completable. I keep approaching it like any problem- I try one thing and if that doesn't work I try something new. The issue with this technique is that I have no focus. *Queue Christian saying, "I told you so. You need to focus on one thing, Jane." I try to peg a career path and focus on that. After 25 returned applications and remnants of crushed dreams on the floor, I try a new career paths in hopes that my luck will pick up. Each time I get more hopeful and more devoted. Each time I get more upset with myself: because I am failing, because I can't find a path, because I am not where I want to be, because I can't back myself up, because I didn't do the right things, because I didn't take that opportunity, because yadda yadda yadda. 

My day is a list of menial tasks that will never be finished. 

• Find what makes you happy
• Get a job
• Pay your loans
• Take a creative writing class
• Learn German
• Have fun
• Do something cool
• Make friggin' friends
• Make memories
• Unpack
• Apply to more jobs
• Change your approach
• Watch 5+ episodes of The Office
• Think of other shit you could be doing
• Talk to your friends back home on the phone for a collective 3 hours a day
• Listen to people lecture you on what you could be doing
• Make connections with people who could get you a job you will be miserable doing
• Try to decide between working for the man or working for yourself
• Is being happy even important at this point
• Focus on not getting stuck
• Decide to run again
• Think better of it this time and get a job there first
• Figure out where your next destination is
• Contemplate how much of a failure you will look like if you go back to Birmingham
• Make another, more achievable list
• Fight sleep
• Pet the dog and cry into his fur
• Brush the dog
• Read more books
• Pay attention to the news
• Try to make yourself more you
• Think about how much you want to blog
• Never do it
• Open 32 tabs in Safari and don't read any of them for at least a week
• Continue opening more tabs
• List all the things you need to accomplish
• Remember to get your prescriptions filled
• Think better of it because that money is more useful elsewhere
• Be super hardheaded
• Wonder how other people are getting this life shit right
• Be sort of angry about it
• Be actually happy for them
• Imagine yourself successful in 20 years
• Try to be useful
• At least feel like you are useful
• Remember when you were really good at shit and people probably thought you were going somewhere
• List all of the things you could do or buy if you had money
• Wonder how much of your life you are wasting doing these things
• Think about wrinkles
• Say "Fatty Fatty Boombalatty" over and over in your head and wonder where you heard it last
• Surf Tinder
• Realize that everyone here wears cargo shorts and earrings
• Cry inside
• Think about how wonderful it would be to have your own place
• Realize you need money for that
• See: train of thought nine bullets up
• Make excuses

I want you to know that I wrote this list before finishing a single one of the paragraphs above. Do you see what I mean about focus? I think of nine things at once and cannot finish a single thought before another persistent little bugger is working its way out. 

I am throwing a pity party for myself. After all, since I have no friends to party with, it is all I have in the way of entertainment. You are all invited.

You know what? When I was a freshman in high school, I went out for the school play- Our Town. I happened to be (distant at the time) family friends with the Drama teacher. I ended up getting a part and I proudly walked into my house and proclaimed to my mother, "IT IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW, IT IS ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW!" When I tell you that this statement is biting me in the butt right now, you have no idea how hard. Not only do I not know anything, I also have the great joy of not knowing anybody either. So in this case, I am screwed. It feels like nothing will be able to get me ahead. Shit. Isn't it sort of fun to look back on moments like that and realize how stupid you were? I am sure these are the days your parents dream about. 

My head feels clearer now. I am no closer to an answer than I was when I began; however, the tears have subsided and I feel refreshed. This refreshment doesn't help with the desire for sleep though. You take what you can get, am I right? 

It Really Was Good-Bye

Have you ever had that moment where you realize you may never see someone again? It does not go through your mind when you are saying goodbye; it does not seem to jump out at you when you are moving on to the next part of your journey, it just happens and you never seem to grasp it.

The world steps in and tears people apart. Days, weeks, months or years later (maybe never) you think, "our paths may never cross again."

I am going to get personal with examples for a minute. I am hit like a brick to a window with this thought and my world sort of shatters. Do I even want to see this person again? Maybe not, but the fact that I probably will not is too much to handle. We do not have any ties in our hometown anymore- his family moved away and has no real reason to come back. Now we live across the country. If you had asked me 3 years ago if I ever imagined I would be living in Connecticut, I would have said, "HELL NO!" yet, I find myself here for the time being- my path through life changing every second and each step takes me further from someone that, at one time, meant a great deal to me. We have no ties to any geographical spot. We have no mutual friends to help our paths cross somewhere down the road; no mutual friends to fill me in on how he has been; no one to get married in 5 years and invite both of us to the wedding. Furthermore, the industries we are headed into are different and our interests hardly overlap. How can someone who was such a big part of your life leave without seeing you?

I remember the last time I saw him like it was yesterday. I know what he was wearing. Sometimes I smell him around me and I cry, because I know its only a memory and it will not last forever. Do I miss what we had? No, absolutely not (in the nicest way possible, if you ever find yourself reading this). Do I miss him? Do I worry about him? Do I want him so badly to be happy? Yes. A very simple and infinite, yes. I think of him often and hope with all of my heart that he is in a good place. I wish peace in his heart and his journey. He taught me a lot and had a large role in helping me become who I am today.

Want to know the weird part about that last sentence? To be honest, I do not even think he would recognize me now. In the eyes sense, yes, but in the heart and mind sense, not at all. I am 100% different than I was at the end of our road. I am 100% better, but different nonetheless.

Back to the matter at hand though. You hear people say things all the time about people being put into their lives for a reason. Each person is there to serve some purpose or to act as a small piece in a larger game. [Just so we are on the same page, I don't know where this conversation is going so try to stick with me. I am having trouble getting this idea to fit nicely into words.] But why are people taken away? I am not even talking about death here. Would I even know if he died? Would someone call me? Would they even have any reason to think of me in association with him? These thoughts are flooding my mind right now. I think all I mean to say is that sometimes goodbye really is goodbye. You do not have any warning as to when this is true. You may never realize it or put it into crazy illegible "sentences" as I have here. 

I know that there are nearly 1000 different ways to keep in touch with people now. I know you are thinking goodbye doesn't have to be goodbye, but sometimes it does. With him, it needed to be goodbye. It is not about staying in touch, it is just about seeing them, touching them, finding them in this universe. [I cannot find a way to get this out.] 

One time when he asked me if I ever thought we would get back together I told him that it was not up to me. I told him that if the universe brought us together again then maybe. Even then I never thought we might not see each other again. How can it be that I can smell him, and feel him holding me, but that I may never see him again? Is this mourning? What is this that I am experiencing right now? Do you ever wonder if you had an impact on their life the way they did on yours? Do as many small things remind him of me as they do me of him? I feel like if you are certain that someone isn't going to be a part of your life anymore, you should just try to forget. If there is no reason to keep them around in the flesh, then why keep them around in figment? Goodbye for now, forever. 

Welcome to the end of the most sporadic and nonsensical blog post in the history of this week. Can you see what living up here is doing to me??

Do You Believe in Magic?

I am out eating Chinese with Nana when it comes to me. Literally it comes to me on a black tray with the ticket. I broke my routine for opening fortunes and read the fortune before I ate the cookie. I felt compelled.

You will be a good comfort

If it hadn't come at that exact moment I don't know if it would have meant as much to me as it did. The whole day was filled with conflict as I am thinking about moving to Connecticut. I thought I knew that I was moving- I have totally convinced myself it is the right move. For me and for my sister. I want to move because I am ready for something new and I desperately need a change of scenery. More than that, I have this urgent feeling that I need to spend time with my sister and best friend now. While we are young, and single (well just me), and free from responsibility (children) and major stress. I just want to make the most of my time with her now. Not that I plan to disappear or for her to do the same, but that I just don't want to look back and see a missed opportunity. When Jordan and I were growing up, I never knew that our last summer was upon us. When Jordan went to college I didn't know that things would never be the same; I didn't know that we would never live together at the home we grew up in again; I didn't know that she would be moving to New England and getting married. How would I know? I didn't even know that when I went to college I wouldn't be living at home again. It took me her entire college experience and mine to realize that is what happens when you start to grow up. I say all this to prove that, for closure at the very least, I need to live with my sissy again. We will wreck shit. We will share so many laughs, tears, drinks, desserts and tidbits of the wisdom we have collected on our separate journeys in this life. 

Why was this even a question then? Well a number of reasons really. I love Birmingham- I have come to know this amazing city as home. Beyond that, the people in Birmingham have come to be my family. Its hard to say goodbye of something that grew and nurtured you into who you are today. On top of that, all slew of dead end job applications from the Spring turned into an interview at my Alma Mater. There is a catch though- even though I want to work at Birmingham-Southern eventually and now even, this position is for a Graduate Assistant and I am not in graduate school and don't have plans to be in the next 3-5 years. I have a lot of exploring to do yet. They know that I am not a student but that doesn't really change the specifics of the position. I would be part-time (I assume), living on campus (not allowed to hang out with my friends who are still there), and living on $1000 a month (sort of impossible with loans, bills, and my eating and drinking habits). Still, I could use the experience in any fashion- not to mention a JOB period. 

Truly hung up on this decision I have been ignoring it (what I do best) until it just solves itself or until people are sick of hearing me battle with decisiveness. At lunch today, an old friend told me, "Sometimes we don't chose the path, but the path chooses us." I honestly wanted to punch him. Who does this shit actually work on? When the path has chosen me, when exactly will it let me know? How does it plan on contacting me? It is the same way I feel when my Dad tells me to pray about it. I really haven't ever been a big on praying. For much the same reason- how will I know when someone has answered me? What means to an end is this supposed to be? Where do I get this push? Sign? Hear this voice? I really hate it when people say, "I am just going to put it all in God's hands." And what is he going to do with it? Is he going to find a job for you and negotiate a salary while he's there to interview? Maybe I am too literal, but that is me and I can not seem to move past it. So this is where I find comfort in signs. I have always been a big believer. It sort of goes hand-in-hand with my ignore it method. I ignore the issue until an answer presents itself out of the blue in the form of a sign. I didn't ask anyone to procure it for me, it just shows up when I need it. Maybe my heart is the one deciding what constitutes a sign and what it means. 

To explain that one, I need to talk about an episode of the Big Bang Theory I saw the other day. Sheldon is trying to decide between buying the Xbox One and a PS4. I swear to you he grieves over it for a week and then finally makes a decision, gets to the store and then second guesses everything. It is a magnified version of every decision I ever make. He is in anguish over it. Amy is there with him and after hours of sitting patiently hearing the pros and cons of each machine, she suggests he flip a coin to decide. Her argument is simple- the act will show you what you really want based on your happiness or disappointment at the outcome. What you truly want is revealed through such a simple exercise. Granted, I think you have to be at a certain point in the process to get the best results. 

Jump back a few steps. What am I looking, waiting, wishing for? Should I flip a coin and see what my heart says? I think thats exactly what the sign I found earlier today did. It took a regular fortune and turned it into the answer I have been waiting for to pop out of the toaster and scare the shit out of me. My heart chose these words to stick out and mean something. My stomach lurched when I read it because I had the answer. 

You will be a good comfort

I have to move to Connecticut to be with Jordan. I will be a good comfort. I do not want her to be alone there, I don't want to miss her everyday and for her to miss me. I want to be there. I want to. WANT. It doesn't feel like a chore or something to satisfy someone else. It feels like the beginning of my next adventure. 

July 2nd- Limerick, Ireland

This is the end. You know when you wake up and you just know it is going to be a bad day? That is how I felt when I woke up. Subconsciously I must have known that today was my last day here. 45 days gone in a flash. More on this later, first I will tell you about Limerick.

Did you know it was called Stab city? Yeah me neither... Jelmer (my Netherlands friend) informed me this morning and it is not settling well. Dave showed us a great walking route to take around Limerick to see the sights here and o we set off to do that after I gave Katelyn another hairwap (Katelyn's hairwrapcount-3). We grabbed lunch at guess where?? Supermac's! And it wasn't even for tradition sake, it was because we honestly couldn't find anything else more than a scone. We walked to King's Island after that but not before stopping in Penney's just because we had to. We didn't get anything don't worry. Limerick is also more widely known as the City of Churches and so naturally our first stop was St. Mary's Cathedral. A beautiful cathedral with an impressive graveyard, holding a number of noteworthy people. We are too broke at this point to go in so we admired it from the outside. Continuing on our walk we made our way to King John's Castle. The tour starts with an expansive museum chock full of facts and history. So much that I can't keep it all straight. I do know that King John never visited the castle during his lifetime athough he was the one who ordered the building of it in the 12th century. It took many decades to finish the castle because of the economic fluctuation of the area. There is a great wealth of history that I am not sharing with you simply because I wasn't able to retain it all. The interactive museum was really cool and afterwards we got to see and visit some of the castle ruins and towers that were still standing. We got a great view of the city and then played dress up because once a 7 year old girls, always a 7 year old girl- or something like that. 

From here we continued walking to the boardwalk where we saw the treaty stone- no idea what it is but we didn't really stop to learn. There were some hoodrats nearby and we wanted to bypass them. We walked around Limerick a little more and felt sketched out so we ducked into a cupcake shop for a hot cocoa and some wifi. We were trying to burn some time before dinner because once we left the city, there was no food out there. We ended up deciding to see a movie but we couldn't find the theater that google insisted was there. A girl our age stopped to help us and said it was a little ways away and offered to drive us. I was all like ummm no we can walk but then she assured us she wasn't crazy (because that always works and is really reliable) but we trusted her and decided to grab a ride. We walked a ways and chatted until her boyfriend James picked us all up to transport us to the theater. James was Irish and the girl whose name was exotic and long had been dting for 4 years. She moved to Limerick from Italy a few months before to be with James and was now working for a financial firm locally. They were 23/24 and were really really sweet. They showed us where to catch the bus and all that, wished us well and went on their way. 

Katelyn and I were right on time for How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was perfect. As I said, I am already in an emotional state so it was perfectly normal for me to cry 3 different times during this touching movie. It is so hard for a sequel to be as good as the first movie, or even good at all for that matter, but this movie was fantastic! 

We ate and went to the bus stop and I cried again. I cried at dinner too. I don't want to leave. I want to talk about why but I think I am going to wait until the next post. It deserves a post of its own I think, plus I need more brain power to get out all that I want to share and right now I am running near empty. 

P.S. I got a new hairwrap (Jane hairwrap count-4). There is no such thing as too many. 

July 1st- Galway & Limerick, Ireland

We pooted around Galway until 2 and you will never guess where we went. Penney's and Supermac's. We have decided it will be somewhat of a tradition.  I got some denim shorts because well why the hell not? The train was tiny but it was a painless trek. I don't really rememeber what I have said and what I haven't said at this point so I will say it again- the Irish people are so nice. They are more than willing to help you out and go out of their way to make you feel at home and at ease. They are polite, hilarious, and helpful. When we made it to Limerick we bused to the Bed and Breakfast and were greeted by our host Rose. She was too sweet and so happy to have us! We were in a much more residential area than we expected but it was quiet and safe nonetheless. We rested for a moment and then showered because well to be honest we hadn't the day before. We were plannin to head to the city center for dinner but we had discussed having traditional Irish with Rose when we arrived and she had come over to invited us for Bacon and Cabbage. Since the bus schedule was so weird anyway we decided we would love a free meal and some homecooking! We met her husband Dave who was so sweet and funny just like all the rest of the Irish people we have encountered. The meal was delicious and afterwards we had Irish tea, icecream and meringues. We sat around the table and chatted with Rose and Dave and the other guests for a while. There was a 15yr old boy names Keith whose relation to the family is unknown and a Bulgarian Doctor named Simione. It was a great chat, a delcious dinner, and a welcomed gesture. It was also the night of the US v Belgium game so Katelyn and I walked to the nearest pub to watch the game over a few Guinness pints. I tell you, I can't get enough of this Guinness. We were the only girls in the place and it was nearly desserted anyway. There may have been 12 locals there all watching the game as well. Everyone was cheering on the US so that was fun! We played a hell of a game but didn't pull through. They gave us their condolences and we headed back to the house. 

Found this at Penneys and in the spirit of the game tonight decided to take a picture with it. 

June 30th- Galway, Ireland

Cliffs of Moher. More like Cliffs of Mother of Pearl. These sights are amazing. It is hard to believe all of this beauty surrounds us on a daily basis. Makes me feel less lonely in this big ole world. That is something I have learned here, or rather put into perspective- how small our world is and how similar we are to everyone around the world. It is amazing to think that no matter how different your backgrounds, we are all the same. In the same boat, making the same living, on the same green earth, towards the same ends. 

We started the tour around 9:30 and we stopped at a number of spots on our way to the cliffs. Our guide was hilarious. His name was PJ and he taught me how funny the Irish people are. We saw an Abbey and a portal grave (super cool) and a castle and ld Celtic settlement all  from various times in Irish history dating as far back as like 300 BC. Insane. How can places be this old and still standing?? Its a wonder people, just standing near something that old is wild. 

The cliffs were gorgeous. It was a great day with no rain and no mist or low clouds blocking my view of these gorgeous sea side cliffs. The Atlantic is beautiful from this side. I had made a friend on the bus-Kate from Arizona- and we hiked out passed the cement wall to the edges and hung our heads over the 216 meter fall. It was crazy- I was like crawling on the edge in my dress because I didn't want the wind to blow me off- you know because I am soooo thin and this kind of thing would happen. I can say I did it though. We only had a short time to visit the cliffs before we had to be back at the bus so after what felt like 25 individual photo shoots we headed back. The visitors center is built into the side of a hill and is 1. huge, 2. state of the art, 3. really cool and looks likes the teletubbies house. 

I chatted with Kate the whole way back and when we made it to Galway we made plans to grab dinner together and then go out for music and drinks. We met at Quay Bar for dinner and it was a trip. First of all Kate found wire in her Lamb stew and katelyn cut her finger on some loose glass from her pint glass. I suffered no injuries that I know of but I was living in constant fear I tell you. We went to the bar PJ (the bus driver) suggested for music. It was called Crane bar and was a little ways from the beaten path. It was super local and therefore really cool! We had a few pints while we listened to locals play their various instruments and sing together. What a cool experience! 

We headed to Quay bar again then hoping to catch some river dancing but were instead met with a pleathera of tourists and a band playing American covers. Not my cup of tea in Ireland honestly. We just had one beer there and headed back. I was however introduced to a great Stout if you are in the market for one. Murphy's Irish stout. It was really dark and smooth with a strong coffee flavor. A top choice! My friend Jelmer actually told me about Murphy's. He lives in the Netherlands but spent some time in Ireland. He prefers the Irish Red so if you have had it let me know how it was- I wasn't able to find it at these bars. 

It was a good night all in all but nothing like what I hoped or expected the nights in Ireland to be like. I want to come back and experience the true Irish culture and share pints with locals. It's all about the culture for me you know. 

June 29th- Dublin & Galway, Ireland

Katelyn and I had originally planned to o the Sandeman's Dublin walking tour but we didn't think we had enought time to do the full tour and make it to the train station to get to Galway. We decided to set out on our own and just explore and grab lunch for a couple hours. We ended up stumbling upon this kewl store that's insanely cheap. Its called Penney's and its operated by Primark. It was perfect. I spent like $40 and got 6 things and I don't regret a second of it. This may be because I got some overalls. You know I love them. Since we spent an inordinate amount of time in here we needed to grab lunch and go back and get our bags before our train. We went in the first place we saw which turned out to be this awesome fast food place. I know what you're thinking, "How can those two words go together?" Well they can. This place has 3 different food options and a separate ice cream portion. So one option is McDonalds meets Chick-fil-a, aka quality meat and flavor with burgers and chicken. The next option is like Firehouse subs sort of- hot sandwichs, wraps and yummy salads (I chose this place). Lastly, there was a Papa John's pizza but they had way more options than just regular pizza, like calzones and pizza bites (I KNOW!!). What a great idea. You can serve so many people's needs in one place and its quick. Whoever came up with Supermac's, you are genius. 

In other news, we made it to the train and it yelled at me to stop smoking when I went to the bathroom. I was in the "stall" and it starts beeping at me telling me to extinguish my cigarette and that a staff member is coming to get me and I am all what?? Then the water won't turn on for me to wash my hands which I can only assume is so you can't like hide the smoke smell or something? Anyway I freaked out and hurried back to my seat. Don't smoke kids, it isn't worth it. 

Out the window I can see real live sheep with black faces. Like who knew that they were this cute. When they frolick in the fields I feel like my life is complete and I can die happy. It is the most beautiful scene. Ireland is just gorgeous and the expansive land is something from a Medieval storybook. 

What is not something from a storybook is the fact that I haven't worn clean clothes in about 9 days. You're welcome. When we get to our AMAZING perfectly located hostel in Galway, getting laundry done is like Christmas. I am actually embarrassed to give them my clothes because there is an odor. A strong odor- not like body odor but worse. Let me explain that though. In Korcula- yes like 5 cities ago- I meant to hand wash some things but ran out of time. I had stacked them in the bathroom by the shower. The shower leaked. I didn't know they had gotten wet but the next day I had to pack them. They mildewed in the bags and I tried to dry them in Dubrovnik but honestly the smell stays. I regret it but hey, what are you going to do? I warned the woman not to inhale when she washes my clothes and she assured me she wouldn't. I had hoped we would have the clothes by the next morning before our trip to the Cliffs of Moher so I didn't have to wear the same outfit for the 4th day in a row. Thank god I got more underwear at Penney's am I right??

 

Katelyn and I got this cool Medieval walking tour audio guide from the front desk-super nerdy but I didn't want to waste any time in Galway. On the way to start the tour and look for food we saw a young girl doing hairwraps in the street. Could this be heaven? Naturally we had to stop and get one because it was so cheap and it took her no time at all. It was a new technique and it was with yarn but a hairwrap is a hairwrap and we couldn't resist. 

Looking like tourists on our audio tour.

 

I love it. Love love love. 

So we found dinner and finished the tour and then passed out. We were tired and tomorrow is the Cliffs of Moher so we needed to be well rested and ready to go. I love Ireland. Did I say that already?? It is wonderful.

June 27th and 28th- Travel to Dublin, Ireland

June 27th- Zadar, Croatia

Man am I getting used to these 5:30 AM alarms. I would love to write some poetic words about how its nice to get up with the birds and the way the light shines on the water in the wee hours of the morning is unparalleled but I cannot. We have a super fun 8 hour bus ride ahead of us and I am very excited. NOT. The plan is to just watch Date Night (my favorite movie) over and over again until we are there. Well of course we get on and I try to go to be immediately because its semi-quiet and it is still really early. I honestly don't know what I was thinking because the man in front of us was picking his head and I was doing everything I could just to keep from vomitting. Not sleeping with that vision burned into my retinas. 

What to do?? Read? Sure, why not. I started my new book and got so into that I never stopped again. We took a few breaks and we actually had really good scenary nearly the whole trip. 

We arrived around 16:30 and made our way to the hostel. It is literally in the middle of nowhere. I mean honestly people are turning their heads to look at us because we are surely lost. Oh well, it is not like we wanted to spend time in Zadar anyway. We walked down to the grocery to get things to make dinner and headed back. I went to bed early. I think I slept with a mosquito last night- it was all a blur and obviously I wouldn't done it by day. ... The marks all over my face and body indicate we really went at it and he won. I have 7 mosquito bites on my FACE. I have a total of 31 on my arms, stomach and ankles. They are driving me insane and I can't stop scratching.

I finished my book ps. 400 pages makes me feel like the day wasn't a complete waste. 

June 28th- Travel to Dublin, Ireland 

We arrived at the Zadar airport at 4:45 by taxi and waited for it to open before going through security and arriving at 1 of 5 gates. The flight was no better than yesterday's bus and I couldn't sleep even though I knew it was going to be a loooong day. We lost and hour and arrived at a cool 8:30 in Dublin. Already love it. The airport was huge and clean and everyone is sooooo nice and helpful. It's a huge difference from other European countries. We got on a double decker bus!!! EEEK. 

 

We are really excited because not only is this bus the coolest, it had wifi. WHAT?? That is so cool. You can be so productive on this thing. We planned our only full day in Dublin thanks to the list Owen Meadows (Ruths boyfriend) made for us. We stored our bags at the hostel and guess what?? Well turns out I am not perfect- shocking I know- and I booked the hostel for the following night. Out of the 10 places I booked for this trip it was the only one I messed up so that is an up right? Thank god it got worked out and we took the last 2 places in the whole hostel allegedly. We headed to grab some 2nd breakfast since we ate about 5 hours ago now. Afterwards we headed to Guiness. It was genius although Pilsner Urquell in Plzen, Czech Republic was way cooler. This brewhouse was more of a museum than a tour but we got a tasting and this cool smelling thing and then we got a free pint. So I can't really complain about anything now can I? You have to drink Guiness a certain way and no lie it makes it taste better. If you are curious just hit me up and I would be more than happy to teach you. Also, I have decided that I will be brewing my own beer in the very near future. I don't have a job or anything so why would I not just like accept it and do bum crafts? 

After we left the brewhouse we walked to Kilmainham Gaol. It was an innovative county prison built in the 1700s designed to reform prisoners to keep them separate from each other. After it was closed as a prison it was used to house Brittish soldiers and again later to house a party during the revolution. Today you can find art shows and concerts here. It had been well preserved and is full of rich history. The museum connected to it is very informative and interesting. I recommend doing this if you can when you visit Dublin. 

Katelyn and I regrouped at the hostel really quick and headed out to dinner at Bobos Gourmet Irish Burgers- Owen's pick. It was heavenly. Food here is definitely a priority and there is so much variety. I am raising my hands at this moment because I have never been so happy to see chinese take out and food that isn't fish with eyes still intact, pizza or pasta. Have I mentioned I love Ireland? The people are so wonderful, the food is amazing, the sights are gorgeous. Is it too good to be true?? Well the downside to it all is the weather. Its cold and rainy always. It is 11 degrees today and the sun is out currently. If you don't suspect rain definitely bring your rain jacket or umbrella anyway. It is going to happen. 

I should tell you that I have decided to switch to the metric system and celcius and military time. I may as well get on board with the majority of the world- it just makes more sense to be honest and it is so easy to understand. 

Been thinking a lot about careers and having more and more people suggest options to me. I definitely have to learn another language first. Again thinking German. This would open so many doors for me. No lie- the amount of jobs speaking 2 languages fluently opens up to you is insane. I feel mad that schools don't push it more while we are young and follow through with it as we grow up. I have truly missed out and I am upset about it. 

I have a lot of ideas to explore when I get home. I am actually looking forward to this next step and this huge leap. 

June 20th-26th- Croatia

I am doing this... a week of blog posts in one. Don't hate me, but Croatia has brought a slow down and a great relaxation.

June 20th- Plitvice Lakes

My favorite day. By far. Nothing beats this. The beauty is unreal- honestly it doesn't seem real. I have never experienced a calm like this. In nature and such a beautiful nature at that. It is a wonder of the world. I just felt like there was something powerful in the ground beneath me. It sounds wild I know but there is no way to describe the emotions coursing through my soul at that time. It reminded me that I need to hike more and appreciate the beauty of my home and the other nooks and crannies of this world we are a part of. 

We left the park around 2 and got on our bus to Split. When we arrived in Split we got a touch lost trying to find the hostel. Turns out he had emailed very detailed directions to Katelyn back in May with a map and everything but we had overlooked it. The hostel was small but perfect! Everyone was so nice and we met a bunch of really cool people. We didn't end up going out but we staying in and drank homemade Croatian moonshine and beer. The moonshine was like the devil going down- it smelled and tasted like nail polish remover which CANNOT be a good sign. However, we did have a good time and made some good friends. Our Scottish friend Rebecca even asked me to cut her hair for her. I have to tell you though- she had gotten drunk a few nights before and cut her own hair. Not just like a few inches. She litterally shaved one side and the back and left this angled piece on the top. It was a sick haircut- in a good way. Like it was brilliant on her but I cannot believe that she did it herself and drunk at that. Wellllll I guess upon closer look you could tell- there were 2 bald spots where the razor got a touch close to her scalp. Anyway, It was fun to cut her hair- like fixing it and I think I left it looking a lot better than when it started. 

June 21st- Split, Croatia

We had semi-planned to go around the old town with Rebecca and Nicola but they slept in a little later than we had planned. We set out to the beach with two new hostel arrivers- Hollywood and Rudy. We grabbed lunch and hit the "sand." It was more like gravel but none the less. After soaking up some rays and seeing more sea urchins than anyone should ever have to, we walked to the jumping cliffs. We really wanted to jump off of them (and by we I mean me) but when we got there there really weren't other people around and we were unsure if these were the cliffs we were told about. We just took in the beauty and moved on. We wanted to go to the viewpoints so that we could get some views of the city before we set off for the next place. We could see some viewpoints and thought we would walk. It turned out to be a 2 hour walk up to the panoramic view of the city. BUTTT it was a lovely day and a really nice hike. The views along the way were magnificent with water hitting the base of the cliffs pretty much everywhere you looked. Hundreds of sailboats specked the Adriatic Sea with the sun starting to set. We made it up 314 steps (Katelyn almost had an asthma attack- not good since we had no inhaler) and the view was worth it. It was beautiful. 

We made it back to the hostel around 7:45 and had just over an hour to shower and eat and make it to the pub crawl at 9. We made it about 20 minutes late and got started on the power hour- probably not the safest thing honestly, but people want their money's worth. This was by far the biggest bar crawl we had been to with probably about 50-75 people. We made friends with 5 guys from the UK who were there on holiday as well. We stuck with them for the rest of the night and had a blast!! Back home at the hostel Katelyn went to bed and I hung out with 2 guys from Canada who had arrived while we were out. I loved this hostel so much because it was so small and everyone had to be friends. We were in 3 different coed shared rooms and all shared a bathroom, but the quarters were close and everyone was so friendly. 

(yes, he is having a nip slip- when in Croatia right??)

June 22nd- Korcula

Our ferry left pretty early from Split so we were up and out by 8. We grabbed breakfast from the host's mother and it was seriously the best breakfast we have had in 6 weeks. We arrived just after noon and got to our perfectly located hostel- Maria's place. Maria owned it and she was the sweetest little lady. Probably in her late 70s or early 80s, she offered us juice and biscuits on our arrival and told us about her adventures in learning English. Easily the sweetest woman ever. Our room was perfect and had AC! AHH. The Hostel was in the old town walls and was maybe 2 minutes walking to the beach. We grabbed lunch and hit the beach. We wanted to swim so we climbed on the rocks to a ladder and jumped in and swam around 75 meters to the shore. It was lovely but the sea urchins haunted me the whole time. They are terrifying. After that we walked around the town and then ate our leftovers from lunch. 

June 23rd- Korcula

Tried to go to Lumbarda to the sand beaches but missed the last bus. We decided to stay in Korcula and go back to our main beach. We went shopping around too and I bought a bikini... WHAT?? Yeah it was odd. So for dinner we decided to try some fish. We had seen someone cleaning a fish by us at the beach earlier so we knew it would be fresh. So Maria had suggested this place (we think- she may have warned against it) and we went. Turns out you had to get like the whole fish (I guess this is a seafood thing) but we couldn't afford that so we go the Kanevic Fish plate. MISTAKE. It was squid and a prawn and some things we have NOOOOO idea what they were. I tried everything on the plate while trying not to think too much about it. It was mortifying and terrifying and wayyyyy expensive. Thank god it is over. 

June 24th- Korcula 

We got up and went to Lumbarda to get a taste of the sand beaches. The bus dropped us off in the middle of nowhere and we had to walk through some vineyards to get there. When we got there it was packed and tiny and we had to work to find a place to lay. The sand was micro tiny and was EVERYWHERE in a matter of seconds. We could swim out in to the water far and we stayed in for 30 minutes at a time treading water while we watched the boats go by. It was a beautiful day. I got pretty sunburned while I read an entire book.... We went to dinner when we got back and showered at this sweet little place in the alley near our place. We shared 2 karaffes of the homemade wine and stayed for 3 hours. We met a woman from California who talked to us for a while. She was sailing around from island to island for a few weeks with about 10 other people. She said a few things that resonated with me. First she said that "I am never happier than when I have a small bag of things." I loved it. Why? I can't explain it to you all here and now but it meant a lot to me and the way I want to live my life. I'm not going to feed you some bullshit about the unimportance of material possessions because sometimes that is all we have. I like that she said that and I agree because I can always choose what is in my small bag of things. She wished us good vibrations as she left and again I loved that. What a special way to bid someone adieuand how happy it left me.

Katelyn's chicken was a touch raw and I ate some which I am going to say is why I found myself sick about an hour after we left. We grabbed ice cream on the way home and headed to bed. Early bus the next morning. 

June 25th- Dubrovnik

The bus ride was bumpy and loud. I swear to you the driver had his top 40 on max volume and he kept taking phone calls over that. It was wild. It wasn't too long of a bus ride but the directions for our hostel were awful and we got super frustrated. We went to an address listed and there was no hostel there. So we called on my limited minutes and they could barely speak english. Eventually we had him come pick us up because we were hopelessly lost. At first we were mad that the directions were so poorly marked but then we met him and he was so old and sweet that we quickly forgave him and paid the full transfer fee anyway. I couldn't not. The room was so nice and they were super accomodating. The view is amazing and we are in a great location. The only down side is that it has been raining the whole time we have been here. We go settled around 5 and then ventured down to the old town to walk around and find dinner. We both agreed that we couldn't have pizza or pasta because we would die, so it was a sign that the first restaurant we came across was MEXICAN. This handsome handsome boy named Roberto showed us to our table and then our sweet sweet waiter brought us welcome shots. No one else at the restaurant got them I noticed but I loved it. It was the same Croatia moonshine but it was a little less strong. Katelyn couldn't stomach it but I seriously just knocked it back because it was free and I wanted to be polite. We spilt chicken fajitas and they were amazing. Bursting with flavor which is an uncommon thing here. Seriously very little flavor in all of these foods and it kills me. I am at the point in my trip where I am fixating on restaurants that I love- Surin, El Barrio, Taco Mama, Crestline Bagel, Nikkis- I need them all. We walked around town a little and KP grabbed her nightly Ice Cream and we walked the 300 plus stairs back to our hostel.

June 26th- Dubrovnik

We woke bright and early to beat all of the Cruise boaters to the wall. The city is surrounded by a wall and you can walk the length of it to get amazing views of the old town and the towers and the ocean. We did that for about 2 hours and then grabbed lunch and planned to go paddle boarding. I feel bad that the weather was so bad because Katelyn has been dying to go for weeks now. There was some under current in the water making it more dangerous than just the choppy waters that came with the rain. We opted for a glass boat tour instead and it was still very choppy. We got to see the coast and be on the water at least. Afterwards we moseyed around town in and out of shops before going back to the hostel to watch the USA v Germany game. Early night. We are off to Zadar tomorrow and then IRELAND!